How to pick out a lube, and how does that compare to a moisturizer?

If you go to the grocery store, there is half an aisle dedicated to lube so it is common for this to be a little overwhelming. The first step is to break it down to what are you looking for? There are 3 main types of lubes – silicone, water based, and oil based. There are some others out there like hybrid (a mix of 2 kinds) and aloe.

Let me first start off by saying, a person’s lack of lubrication does not correlate to their degree of arousal. In the sex medicine world we call this arousal non-concordance! Your brain is saying “yeah lets go” and your body is like “wait, what are we trying to do here?” For people with vulvas, there can be a lot of reasons for lack of lubrication. Some examples include postpartum, breastfeeding, birth control pills, cancer treatments, anti-estrogen therapies for cancer or endometriosis, perimenopause or menopause, or other medications.

It is normal to use lube. Don’t be embarrassed, and don’t let your partner tell you there is something wrong with you!

Here’s an easy chart breaking down the types of lubes.

If you’re like, uhhh so what should I do? In my practice, I am biased towards silicone based lubes – here’s why!

Now, what about moisturizers? Those are things that are used daily or several times a week, and not for sex. These can be helpful for those with vulvas who are not quite ready to start local hormone therapies. You may need a vaginal moisturizer if you are breastfeeding, postpartum, receiving cancer treatment, postmenopausal, or taking gender affirming hormone therapy.
However – I only encourage folks to use vaginal moisturizers for a short time. If you need ongoing vulvovaginal tissue support, it may be time to have a conversation with your healthcare provider about local hormone therapy options! These are safe, generally affordable, and have additional benefits such as prevention of UTIs and helping with any pain you may be having.

Of course if you are concerned, please reach out to a medical professional that can help. You can find one of those from The Menopause Society, ISSWSH, or AASECT.